Dream Journal
July 15, 1996
We were in something like a space station. . . . And Captain Kirk/Picard was there! He was trying not to act like he was in a movie, but being funny about it. The space station was half in space, half where SSU’s main education building is. There was some kind of medieval war. We were attacked and beaten but not beaten completely. We had all kinds of new people before the first battle — many other races including the raisin people, and they were taken by the dark black evil people.
Then we had people come to aid us — the black-bearded folk, Benji and his kind, peaceful people. I realized I didn’t tell Benji my name (it was Benji, of course), and went back and did so. It was a whole army of myself as different people lined up along the hill in the back yard of Blaine House. We marched past the castle of evil — Blaine House! I was declared captain of the left wing, but I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have my bow, but a friend let me borrow his. The enemies came from Blaine House — starting with storm troopers. I set the house and the nasties inside on fire with my will alone. The house began to burn. This Nazgul-like thing ran out past us with a baby and cut off its ears, nose, and tongue. . . . This was far too horrible for me and so the scene rotated 360 degrees and replayed itself in a less horrible way:
The Nazgul instead realized it wasn’t really Baby Thoofoo (or something that sounded like it was said with a speech impediment) and got a doll in a box, which it took to be the REAL baby, and bounced the end of a car on its face. Then the Nazgul flashed white and told the doll to teach others to love animals when it was older. It seemed to turn into MARIO at that point. The house was really burning by now.
I felt strong and unafraid throughout. But the use of Blaine House as a den of evil? It’s important. . . . Multiple Benjis from different times? Who was the baby? I had a fear of Blaine House burning as a kid and here I caused it?
References: SSU was the first college I went to. Captain Kirk and Picard from Star Trek. Nazgul are very evil characters from The Lord of the Rings. Storm Troopers are from Star Wars. Mario is the star of a video game I was playing at the time.
Censorship: I essentially altered this story to be less horrible by replaying the scene in a different way.
Versions of Me: I wonder if all these Benjis could have been versions of myself from past lives. I sure do like having a big ole beard!
It’s interesting that I was in a space station just before all these versions of myself appeared, which is an association I’ve seen in other dreams. Perhaps my reincarnating self likes that environment. It’s like a research station with gateways to anywhere I want.
Will Fire: On retrospect, it’s odd that I’m setting fire to Blaine House when I had recurring nightmares of Blaine House burning ten years earlier.
Space Station Benji: From looking at different dreams, Space Station Benji appears to be the home of my reincarnating self — thus all the other Benjis there. It has a kind of unseen presence in my dreams, hidden in a pocket just behind the physical scenes, and able to connect to any of them.
From there, a self with a perspective that includes my dream self and waking self orchestrates things. This is my higher self, my subconscious. This self that perceives and navigates across focuses, while the dream self is similar to the waking self in its specialization at a specific frequency of consciousness.