Dream Journal

Context: I'm staying at Paxston and Jay's apartment. Jay is her boyfriend.

Night Three: Try to dream of oneness, but I didn’t remember. . . . Yet I did wake up 4 hours later like I wanted to! Many dreams after that. One was about me and Paxston and Jay. We’re living in this big house. Paxston and I end up deciding to have sex. So we go upstairs to this room. Then, oddly, something subconscious comes up telling her she’s obligated to me. She gets ready, but I smile and dance around instead, telling her she doesn’t have to do anything. The obligation passes and we do it, although I think my dream skipped over the whole scene. Afterwards we go downstairs, both with this happy-fuzzy glow that I think is too obvious. Later we go upstairs again and I stop her on the way. “Did we really just have sex?” I say. She nods. We continue upstairs and it hits me. “We didn’t even use protection! You’re on the pill, aren’t you?” she shakes her head. I start thinking about pregnancy, having to get tested again, telling Jay. We go downstairs and she crawls in bed with him and I get in another bed across the room. She sits up, looks at Jay, and says “I fucked Ben.” I get the feeling that he suspected it, but his full reaction is lost in a sudden switch to something different. Still dreaming, Paxston and I start talking about this dream, and realize we both had the same dream. I’m thinking about how we were communicating in our dreams. . . .