Dream Journal

I described it like so: “It was so dumb, so touching. It made me cry. . . . ”

It was about a cat. It was about me and an Indian girl. It was about love. First it was the story, and then, the second dream, was making the story into a movie out of found material — a literal reflection of the original story coming through my waking mind.

The making of the found film was most recent in my mind. . . . We’re maybe 18, the Indian girl and me. We just met and fell deeply for each other. We were at her house, in her bedroom. Her parents were home. They didn’t know we were in love.

We were working together on recording the story of a white cat who she adopted. But the cat had to leave. It left a message in an envelope for her — a card, drawn as if by a child. In it the cat gave permission and blessing for what happened next, but this card was lost until later. It appears at the end of the story. When the girl is finally given the card, she reads it and cries; cries that all that came after was okay, acceptable. That’s how the story ends.

The scenes we put together of the first part with the cat we felt were great. It was an edited part of another movie. That’s why it was “dumb”, because it was made from the other movie. But even so, it was done well. We were doing the love story next, then the outside encounter with the father’s car.

I was a guest in their house. I was so in love with the Indian girl. It was all in the eyes — an electric connection. We were having sex. A third person was in the room, a white boy, and we let him have a go (or more likely, I had jumped out of the white boy partway through the sex, and observed it from outside). We hid the evidence (a soiled dress) under the bed. Her parents were coming, so we got dressed quickly. Her mom came in, searching for a dress for the Indian girl to wear to a special occasion. Her mom showed it to me. It was very revealing. I wanted to be at that occasion.

In the middle of the story, the white boy (played by me), goes out in his car at night. He drives up to a very large, expensive, brightly lit car. It belongs to the girl’s father. There is some kind of encounter . . . a chase? Something. When trying to film the scene later, I’m “driving” around with a camera, filming. I’m about 20 feet in the air, flying, but I don’t realize it in the dream. I get in the way of some cops. They want to stop me but I’m filming, and they give chase, throwing things up at me, but I keep driving away. There’s nothing like actual filming involved — I’m just having an experience that I can use to make the movie. That’s all I need to do. I eventually come across a big fancy car that will play the part of the father’s car.

But that was the least important or interesting part of the story. It was about the white cat, coming to live with the girl, then leaving, then what came next before the letter. Perhaps it was the love story.

I wish I remembered more of the original story! But I woke up during the remake!

(written later:) It’s most likely the story is that the original boy was driven away from the girl after being discovered, and she eventually had an arranged marriage, and felt guilty for a long time, until this letter was discovered, written by the boy at the time he was driven away. The letter said he wanted her to be happy, find love with another.