Dream Journal

It began with a desperate attachment . . . someone following someone around, unable to let go. One following another through neighborhoods, into murky houses with dirty water across the floor. . . . Trying to get away from a lover?

I dreamed that everyone I knew came to see me. I was in a mall-type place, and took them from place to place, including an adult musical game-show of sorts with amazing music that had called me in. I was enjoying it with no shame but knew they would be concerned. As I finished with the entertainment, they brought me to a large room where everyone would fit. It was filled with lots of incense. “Too much”, one of them said. “Put these out, and these.” But to me it was fine, a great blend of smells. The place had a Buddhist theme. But it was also like an event place, with servants standing on hand. It was a large open area, with tables set across the center in an arc. Nothing was flat or straight. Everyone took places at the tables while I walked about. I entertained myself with small delights, waiting for them to speak. They had come together out of concern for me. But I was unapologetic, and I spoke to the fears behind their concerns. I was being true to myself, unconstrained by fears.

At some point I moved to a room a little higher up. It was like a viewing room for the main room. It was also filled with people in rows of seats rising above me. On the surrounding wall were little mirrored words and phrases, stacked deep over each other. I wiped some away, then apologized, knowing the work that went into them. Focusing on the larger messages below, I read some and not others, and maybe added my own. There were Buddhists in the rows above me who called out in delight. I said something that reminded one of them of an important word or phrase from a video game they loved and they called out in recognition. I smiled.

I was going to let go and trust and see what happened. Then, I climbed higher in the building, up the outside and onto a little roof high up, above the front door. The house itself was a pale white, almost transparent. The environment outside the building was a foggy golden tangle of vague roots, a protection of sorts. I was going to do something. I imagined myself becoming a target for doing it. I sat down, closed my eyes, then I began.

I made a sound, and the sound was a single tone. I tilted back my head and this added sub frequencies to the sound. It sounded rougher, with an internal rhythm to it. It was a powerful sound. And then I expanded the range upward, and quickly added another tone and another until there was maybe 7. Each had its own unique internal rhythm and sub frequency, and all together it was a chord of magnificent beauty and power. I held the tones and saw an image appear with it. Each tone was represented as a circle with a color inside, from red at the bottom and continuing up through the rainbow. Each was perhaps the tone of a chakra? These were the clearest parts of the image. While I held the powerful chord of tones for long minutes, images of eyes flashed out of the mostly-darkness in different parts of the image. I was sure Holly and Rebecca could hear it in their dreams. It pulled me to a state where I felt I was there in my bed, making the sound, consciously aware but unable to move. I felt as if I had stopped breathing to make the sound. My mouth and eyes were dry. I decided I needed to write it down and got up.