Dream Journal

I’m dreaming from what is probably a NREM state. I’m present in my body, aware of sounds from the physical world around me — a tree branch falling, people moving about, talking. But my focus is in the dream. This is a dream of hanging out — just enjoying myself socially with a bunch of other dreamers. I suspect that NREM dreams are probably similar. My rational mind is not trying to make sense and rationalize things. My dream self is driving.

I’m hanging out with a group of two girls and three other guys. We’re all friends, very comfortable with each other. We’re in a large white room with warm golden light and tall open windows. In one corner, the walls came in to form a rectangular platform, about half as tall as the room (as if to make space for a room on the other side). There is a rumpled pile of white towels with black smudges in the middle of the floor. Someone asks what game we should play next. I’m not entirely sure how this starts, but the towels become a rolling snowy slope and at once expands to the size of the whole room — with us shrinking in proportion to make it a large mountainside. The towel-like nature of the landscape makes unusual rolls in the hillside. I feel that even though we can no longer see the main room, the invisible rectangular walls of it define the space.

We play a game of climbing up and sliding down the snowy slopes, enjoying ourselves and laughing. Then we climb up the slope, up a short cliffside of dark rock, and onto the platform area of the room. The platform is now like a balcony overlooking the mountains. It has a white balustrade. (Okay — I have to explain that word. I was trying to think of the right word for this white iron fence-like border around the platform, and that word popped into my head. I’ve heard it before but I never knew what it was. I just looked it up and it’s the perfect word for this. Weird.)

So everyone climbed up onto the platform. They were sprawled out on the floor or sitting, physically close and touching. They seemed like boyfriends and girlfriends or close friends. I felt left out. I climbed out to the outside of the balustrade and hung onto the bars. I projected my feelings into a full-throated song about how the two girls I wanted most didn’t want me back. It came out fully formed, creative, musically interesting. I sang maybe 5-6 lines, then turned my attention back to the mountain scene, which was turning back into a room now.

Through the front wall, I saw a group of four people chasing a soccer ball, and jogged over to play with them. But they were kids — maybe aged 10 or so, and I decided I was too old for them. I heard someone singing “Stairway to Heaven”. I began singing along. Someone else was singing along, too. Probably someone from the platform. I liked my voice least of the three, but I still gave it my all. The originator of the song stopped playing and singing the song. There were a few seconds of silence. I didn’t want to stop yet, so I started it up again. The next guitar notes played — I didn’t need to rationalize this by imagining I was playing a guitar — my dream self was in control. I began to sing again. And the other voice joined in with me.

As I said earlier, my awareness was near my sleeping body the whole time. When Holly (in the bed next to me) said “I love you, Papa”. I just responded out loud “I love you, Holly” without skipping a beat. No resistance, no groggy wake-up. My mind was just right there.