Dream Journal

OMG this was a freaky one. So it starts out with me going to Spring Lake Park High School. The high school was pretty dimly lit. I remember being glad to see some of my nerdy friends, and we walked along the second floor. There were all these other students there, and one of my friends was talking. Before long I realized he was the only one in the entire place talking. That seemed weird, but I thought “Well it is the first day back for everyone”. As the halls cleared and students got to their classes, I saw that some of my nerdy friends were playing assassin — that live action game with the little stickers. I remember thinking — “that was a fun game”. Note the past tense.

So I made my way to Ed’s room, which had the lights on. I had some big books, including my Age of Apocalypse graphic novel, and I went to the cubbies to put them down, but they were all blocked off with this latticework. To the left of the entrance, a big drawer was open and there were all these square spaces filled with gifts from Ed! At the top of each was a bright yellow shirt that said “goodbye” in black letters. I thought that was very thoughtful, and thought that it must be because the year is going to be over soon — just a few more weeks or months.

A couple people cleared out until it was just Jeff A and myself in there. We had this friendly but awkward conversation. At times the light was off, as if someone had turned off the light switch and it was only dimly lit like the rest of the school. Jeff and I talked about various things. He mentioned some song I had written but it didn’t seem familiar to me, and then I brought up how I had digitized all my early movies and tapes. He was excited and asked if I could get him all the Sanctimony (something like that) I had. That also wasn’t familiar, so I asked if that was a show, or music? I think he indicated that it was both. A trailer for it started playing in my mind and it was all about intrigue and violence and mind-tricks and I shook myself out of it as I wasn’t interested in going there. Then he started opening up vaguely about relationships and seemed about to admit he was interested in guys, but didn’t quite get there. Soon I turned my attention back to the pile of shirts Ed had left for us, and it was bright in the room again. Only the top one seemed to have a message — the rest were cool clothes, including several pairs of underwear. I noted that in my cubby in Ed’s room I had stashed a pair or two of underwear, and it occurred to me this was for those times I showed up with no pants.

I left Ed’s room and decided to go to the bathroom. I went across the hall and inside and noticed something wasn’t right — it was the girl’s bathroom! I walked out, and heard an administrator saying to someone “Only two reasons someone goes in the wrong restroom — losing your mind or drugs.” As I walked away from them, I put my hand behind my back in a manner to show them I was flicking them off but in a way I couldn’t be held to it. I quickly went down the hall to the men’s room, realizing as I arrived that this was the place I liked the least here. I go in and there are urinals marked from A-Z in a row around the room — but they were more bowls on short walls with no privacy, and there were all kinds of people in there. The toilets were even worse in terms of privacy. I tried but couldn’t go.

I must have gone back to Ed’s room when I realized that some time earlier (another dream), I had managed to apply to return to SSU because Rox and I called and got assurance that I had enough credits to graduate. That being true, I realized that I didn’t need to be here — I could just go home! Walk out and not come back! So I headed straight to the administrative office.

A blonde girl with a wicked look was helping someone at the counter. She was talking to this tall trailer park kid named Pete. She put his last name down as “dopey” in the form she was filling out. She was being subtly cruel and nasty to him. I got her attention and she said something nasty to me as well. I let her have it verbally. As I spoke, more of my memories came back to me — I was 38! What was I doing in high school? I was married! I had already graduated from SSU and Oberlin. She got upset and lost her shit. She had a violin case which she threw down the counter and it tapped my hand. I cried “assault!” and told her if she didn’t walk out of here right now to go outside and calm down, I’d file assault charges and have her fired. She didn’t seem like she was used to being put in her place, and after glaring at me, she left.

The others behind the counter were ignoring me so I focused my attention on one of them and asked how many credits it took to graduate. He blew off the question and started talking about something else. I repeated myself, raising my voice. He asked for a degree of how many years. I said four. He started trying to distract me and tried to change the subject, so I shouted the question so loud he finally cracked, and, trembling, told me the number. “And how many credits do I have?” The fellow who seemed to be in charge there was at a computer, unruffled. He drew my attention to this mesmerizing color pattern on the screen. It didn’t work. I pushed harder. He hardened and changed the subject. It became clear he was going to obstinately avoid telling me. “Well, I know I have enough credits,” I thought. I stormed out, down the hall, and out the front door of the school.

On the way past the outside of the office, I saw the obstinate man through the window. I kicked the window hard as I walked past and flicked him off. Then I felt them coming after me. One ran up on me quickly, like a werewolf on all fours, and leapt at me, but I managed to dodge the attack.

I was done with high school! I began walking down the street looking for my car. I could still feel their anger at my back. I walked a few blocks, turned a corner, walked some more, then turned again. I didn’t see my car. Where had I parked?

I don’t recall quite how I ended up in this mostly empty house along one of the streets. What happened next is a bit foggy, but someone was maybe showing me around the house. There were three people in total. They were trying very hard to control me, and after a while I realized that they could be anywhere so long as there was glass or a mirror on the other side of them — they were always between myself and the glass or mirrors. At one point, one of them came to the door which had a glass outer door — which is how I could see them. It became clear, too, that these three people were from the administrators office, possibly taking on altered forms — different looks. They were trying to entrap me in the house. I escaped and managed to get the police. When I returned with the police, the house was different — the glass outer door was gone, and inside it was totally redecorated with no glass or mirrors. I was astonished.

The police became Rox and Tom. I found Tom sitting at the table a few minutes later, writing furiously. “I have this great new idea for a play!” he said. I told him forcibly to put down the pen and get out of here, knowing it was the influence of one of the administrators. We left the house, but Rox and Tom were drawn to a housing complex across the street — one I noted that had TONS of glass everywhere. They had barely crossed the sidewalk when the office reflection characters appeared and started to talk to them. Foggy patch..

Then I’m walking down the street again and it’s gotten dark like night. Three of the administrators are about to attack, I know, and they’ve brought along Pete. They all fly towards me on bikes (rationalization) and we fight. After an initial struggle, they stop attacking, seemingly spent of their energy. I go to Pete first and try to shake his memories, as I know they’re using him. He seems to come around to some degree and aids me. The other three I work a bit on verbally. Foggy patch..

I’m looking now from a perspective a few hundred feet off the ground, and see Pete’s house in the distance burning with this blazing white/pink-red fire, and I know it’s a trap. I know it’s to lure me over there to save him. I see the same at another house — maybe the one I first was in. Foggy patch..

It’s dim morning light and I see a couple go into a house along the street on the north side of the school. It’s got a glass front door. I see one of the administrators showing off the house. I rush in behind them and say “you cannot buy this house!” There are all these little white VCRs (maybe 12 of them on the floor plugged in along one wall, and some are black) being offered as part of the house. “These are surveillance devices!” I shout and I start collecting them to destroy outside. The couple is shocked at this revelation. Foggy patch..

I am back on the road on the west side of the school, and it’s dark again. Another attack is coming — this time from five administrators. The road is lit up with these bright square glyphs — each about the size of a house, and one under each house, so that it’s like a grid. I begin to lift off the ground, and the world bends away spherically. The grid flexes into different hills, and I somehow know that one neighborhood I come to is known as “The Whale”. It’s got a big bend, like a big hill, and it’s very large. I feel myself being drawn down into it, and I’m trying to pull up. It’s around here where I wake up.

If only I could remember more exact details of how the administrators used the glass and mirrors!

References: Ed's room is the office my high school counselor.