Dream Journal
March 20, 2006 @ 6:25 AM
I’m hanging out with Jarrin up the street from Chrissie’s house. He blows up their front door and the surrounding area with a bomb. The bomb was like a symbol of a bomb in my mind. I’m in a really dazed and unthinking mental state. I talk it over with Jarrin, and tell him I’m going to talk to Chrissie, but think of course I won’t reveal who’s behind it.
So I visit Chrissie, but more lucid. She greets me warmly. Her brother stops by. She talks about burning her hand and being cured by some product made by bees. Then I broach the topic of the bomb. She jumps on me, furious, demanding to know what I know of the bombing. Her eyes are vivid and focused on me. I start to explain how I was walking along, “Observing and listening to two people, but in this dream state”. I begin to question myself, thinking “Why didn’t I tell you before?” and “Why didn’t I stop this?” and “Why did Jarrin do it?” and “Why am I keeping his identity secret?” I realize it’s because I didn’t believe it was real, but the intensity of emotion in Chrissie tells another story. As I question whether it WAS real or not, I shift into another level of dreaming — this one more logical and near my body. I feel centered in my bedroom and think “Ah, yes of course, because it wasn’t real. She would have told me in email or on Solstice.” I feel relieved but wonder what that was all about. it was 6:25 AM. I decided to remember this dream and went back to dreaming other things.
References: Solstice was my online BBS.
Rousing the Waking Self: My dream self is aware that it was passively dreaming, possibly inside a rote. I wasn’t emotionally invested because I knew I was in a “dream state”, which is like watching a TV show. My dream self knows that a bomb wouldn’t have any real consequences in the astral or in this dream rote.
But Chrissie’s intensity rouses my amnesiac waking self, who asks the questions that I would ask if this had physically happened. This leads to the waking self deducing that I stood by while a friend was put in danger, which disturbs me so much that I step out of the dream, refocusing into the near realm to determine if I was physically dreaming.
When we die, we enter a widened context just like this, one which sees our physical life as a dream we’ve just awoken from.
What Bomb?!: Since Chrissie was talking about a burn on her hand and bee products, which had nothing to do with my dream, I take her to be an independent dreamer. It’s unclear if the bombing is news to her, but my mentioning of it got her full attention and likely derailed her dream plot.
I Was Dreaming: The dream self is making a clear distinction between when it is dreaming and not. What is likely a rote about a friend bombing a girlfriend’s house is considered a “dream state” to the dream self, who now is socially engaging with Chrissie in the astral, something it no longer considers “dreaming”.