Dream Journal

Context: The waking life correlates are there. I recently had a kidney stone and a new fear of not having perfect health.

Scariest damn dream. Rebecca and I are living in a city like Atlanta. There are bad neighborhoods near us and a big park. I’m wandering in a stupor through this scary, dark, poor, crime-ridden part of town. Am I following some people or are they following me? We pass a fence leading to the park and I see Rebecca off in the distance, walking hurriedly. She is upset, frustrated, searching. I call out to her. She is obscured by a fence and trees. I climb the fence and run to her. She tells me she had lost me again on the way home, that I had wandered into a bad part of town again and it worried her sick. This had happened many times before.

As we walked through the park, she told me about some everyday things. But as we exited the park, the sickness began again. I blacked out and began to wander, possessed. I started vomiting disgusting amounts of yellow and white pus, over and over. Rebecca was so repulsed. I had the feeling that this was related to something back from my childhood. I had exact detailed printouts of all the cycles and changes my body went through. I wondered if I should go see a doctor. Rebecca thought “yes”. It was as if at those times I’d be a mental case, an invalid, a possessed unthinking dullard, and to me there was nothing worse. The nastiest nightmare.