Dream Journal

Tapestry of Tears★★
October 5, 1997

My Bedroom

Nap dream: I’m on the couch in the living room (but it’s like gramma’s living room). I’m facing the back cushion, with my face is pressed up against it. I’m talking with Rebecca, when I notice my tapestry is hung sloppily behind the couch and not behind the entertainment center where I left it. I am overcome with emotion. I get up, tear it down, and run to the bedroom, crying. I put my head in the pillows, curl up, and just cry. My crying wakes me up. Was I really crying? It seemed to come from reality on just the other side. When I awoke my face was pressed up against Rebecca’s back.

Emotions: Why did I cry because of the misplacement of the tapestry?

Really Crying?: My crying seems to be coming from a different place, on the other side of a barrier.

I’m reacting like a young child to this broken expectation. I wonder if young children automatically allow their bodies to express emotions in this way, by going with the body’s suggested natural response.

Rationalizations: My face being pressed up against the couch is my first rationalization of my face being pressed up against Rebecca’s back. Then I get up and run to my bed, and press my face against the pillow in just the same way to continue to rationalize the physical sensation.

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