Dream Journal
June 16, 1997
There I was, dropped into a scene right before my wedding. My waking self had woken up here and this was not how I wanted it to be. There were hundreds of people in this big Christian church with pink as the color theme. I read the list of events and it had a bunch of disagreeable religious topics, including a talk on “the power of evil”. I decided to wear sweat pants and a t-shirt to express my feelings on it all.
I can’t remember if this was about Rebecca or Chrissie. There were shades of both. It was a sunshine dream because it was about love, even though it was all wrong to me. I was thinking how odd and outdated the institution of marriage is. I was intentionally screwing things up. When it came time to read the lines I read the wrong things and thought it was hilarious. Rebecca/Chrissie thought what I was doing sucked but I had to go through with it. This kind of wedding meant nothing to me, but I promised I’d give heart and soul on a wedding done my way, with friends in the woods and all that.
OB Experiments: Last night I tried to get OB and fell into paralysis and REM but felt no vibrations and had occasional thoughts break in. This morning: too many thoughts, but having just woken up, I was close to it.
Your Wedding: Suddenly I’m in a wedding, about to get married? I have entered a rote of someone’s memory.
The Closest Match: In order for me to understand the rote correctly, the mapping used the closest emotional match I had for the bride — Rebecca or Chrissie. Both of these were positive loving and friendly relationships.
The Light of the Memory: While this wedding would have been hell for me, the brightness may have indicated that it was a positive experience for the person whose memory it was.
Mistaken for Waking Reality: Memory rotes turn into fantasy as we exert our will in the rote and change the story.
In this case, my waking mind wakes up in another’s memory rote, mistakes it for physical life, and gets all out of sorts, finding itself in the sort of wedding I would never want.