Dream Journal
May 6, 1997
Context: Last night, Rebecca and I were talking about defending ourselves.
It’s a sunny day, and there’s this big graduation extravaganza in Wilder Bowl. Lots of people are here, hanging out. There’s an extra building serving food near where the gym is. I’m in line to go in. I feel like I’m in this drug state, tripping or something. This man starts grasping at my hat and tells me firmly to release it. I turn to him, meet his gaze, and return his intensity a hundredfold. I lunge at him, screaming to “Let go, you son of a bitch or I smash your fucking dumb-ass face to bits.” He was backing off fast and now took off running. I returned to the food line and all of Wilder Bowl was silent except for one girl, pissed off beyond repair at what she’d just seen. She didn’t know what was up, so I ignored her. I enter the building for lunch. Later Rebecca tells me that was her Dad.
References: Wilder Bowl is a greenspace at Oberlin. This is just before my graduation.
Willpower: You can gather a great deal of energy to yourself in the dream state. I usually end up facing consequences as a result of counterattacks like this.
But this was progress for me. After being rather introverted and occasionally bullied when I was younger, I was practicing strongly standing up for myself in the dream state.