Dream Journal

OH MY GOD!

The hill with the Tower is actually a pretty place, and ancient.

There was this horrible thing, like pink flesh filling a cup. It had one eye and one mouth. Its eye was wrinkled and unfocused, or focused elsewhere. This was the insanity creature, which we thought we had contained. I was so curious, and asked to take it somewhere.

There was a familiar girl with me, a friend. We were dressed in white clothing. We escorted the thing together, but I couldn’t close the cup. Once inside the Tower, the test began.

Inside, the light was dim. In the middle there was a big, black orrery (a mechanical solar system model) on a big raised dais — like Augra’s from The Dark Crystal. Everything was in a black obsidian style, reminding me of a business office in the 90’s. It was mostly empty.

The teacher had found a new herb, it was the opposite effect of marijuana, reversed it, he said, produced a purplish hazy effect. It was called . . . bolero? The leaves were thin with little symmetrical holes in them. The teacher was prepping me.

We walked up a set of wide steps. There was some horrible equipment belonging to the girl: a head clamp, a draining device, mirrors, and various horrible things. The insanity creature in the cup had given me two arm-length, erect penises, and put me on display, for all to see. I tried to hide them, but they were so nice, one had to be proud. It may have been done through the mirrors — I saw myself with them in the reflection. The mirrors lie — it isn’t your reflection.

She removed my glasses and I could still see fine, which proved to me that it was the spirit world. I calculated the picture instead of seeing it, seeing clear lines with light haze around them.

She lured me to her. I was so horny, I almost. . . . I wouldn’t let her go. I needed to be inside her, with both raging hard penises that the thing had given to me. I needed it so badly. That’s all I could think about. She changed and grew and shrunk, and I was forcing myself closer to her. I needed her, and she said yes but only if she could do it her way. I finally gave in and said yes. The moment I agreed, it was already over.

She had given me some intense drug, and used the draining equipment. The light was strobing. She was teasing me — she wasn’t going to let me have any; she never was.

Then Josh R and someone else came down. I pulled out of the drug madness and looked around. I recognized a sign and said it was Banana House. They smugly said “yes it is.” But it wasn’t — it was the Tower. I could control the drug-induced madness at times, but it snuck in everywhere, through those little mirrors that reflected out lies.

The strobing light and drug weirdness were to confuse me, but I stood up, walked around, and cleared my head. I turned off the strobe, almost became lucid, then woke up. That was my success. I got my dream!

I’m fighting this madness every night! See “Thought Form Games at Arcology Hill Stadium”. The games weren’t against Drax, they were against the insanity creature! It recreates reality. One must be stronger than it. It is all selfish desires, weakness, and needs.

That place was as solid and real as anything. This awareness isn’t the full story by far. Life is a dream, but that was fucking scary. Somehow, I know more of who I am, what I am doing now. I feel more complete.

I guess I’ll go back to sleep and see what happens. It’s 3:15 AM now. I’m uncertain what time I first went to sleep.

Later: In front of Blaine House, there are lots of big clear tornadoes coming from the west. I was outside, holding onto trees, but even they were being pulled up. So I went to the basement and it was small, weird, and empty of furniture. There were some other people there, too.

References: Banana House was the house I lived in at Oberlin. Josh R lived there too.